Today I. . .

. . .went straight from THIS

to THIS

Citations To Reliable Sources Are Essential To Quality Sweatshirts

Typical

No sir, don't mind me at all. Go ahead and park on the sidewalk, right where I'm waiting to cross the street.

Dude, Where's My Phone?

Part II of our big weekend in Seoul started out with a lost cell phone (we left it in a cab on Saturday night), and as a result most of Sunday was consumed by frantic searching.

We tried everything from "find my iPhone" (which does not work in Korea) to calling the (wrong) cab company forty-five times trying to get someone who spoke English, to having the front desk at our hotel check the surveillance tape to try and find the cab number.

Shopping in Itaewon (which is FABULOUS) isn't quite as fun when you have the knowledge that you're about to have to drop $300 on a new iPhone looming over your head. Fortunately, (for our bank account,  unfortunately for me) it kept my husband from buying me a $250 jacket.

At 5pm, we gave up on the search and started to head home. On a whim, we called the phone one last time, and actually got an answer. After tracking down a random girl who spoke Korean and English, we were able to set up a meeting spot with the cab driver to get the phone back.

Naturally, we felt rich for saving $300, and went straight to the market to buy fake designer earrings.

My first Korean clothing purchase.

Detail

 Fancy earrings

First purse (more to come, I'm sure)

Things That Are Awkward

When a guy hits on you using the line "I'm just saying this because I know I will never see you again", and then you see him again, and he sits on the bus behind you and your husband for two hours.

Delicious Kleenex

When I packed my household goods four months ago, I made the last minute decision to stuff a box of my favorite puffs tissues into an open container.

Fortunately for me, it was the container that was filled with my fall candles. After twelve weeks of marination, these are the most delicious smelling Kleenex on earth. It makes having a nasty cold semi-delightful, as each nose-trumpeting comes with a delicious whiff of apple cobbler, pumpkin pie, and sugared doughnuts.

The Depot of Dreams

Ah, Dream Depot. You put Hobby Lobby to shame with your lovely ribbons, handmade papers, and cleverly worded diary covers.

I only hope that these little silver containers really are fabric dye, and not something that will ruin my bathtub forever.

Typhoon, Take 2

Monday was another blustery "typhoon day" - although not quite as blustery as the last one. Fortunately for us, we got all the perks and none of the hassle. The storm passed us by yet again, but the boys still got the day off of work.

When Brandon got the call, he started his happy dance, and referred to it as "being like a snow day when you're a kid."

As a product of the homeschool, a small part of me still shudders at the mention of a snow day.

Because, you see, snow days as a child meant I was locked inside of my school.

"Hey kids, that snow is really coming down - LET'S DO SOME EXTRA MATH!"

Beauty Freebie: The Most Terrifying Facial Mask on Earth

This mask was part of the array of beauty products in our welcome bag at the let's-get-it-On motel in Busan. I can't imagine why, because it looks like it could kill a mood faster than a swift punch to the crotch.

Hannibal Lecter is jealous.

Illiterate Thievery

Lately our base has been plagued with smart-phone snatching, so of course when I realized I had left my phone somewhere for at least two hours, I panicked.

After careful thought, I retraced my steps from the entire afternoon and found my phone, exactly where I left it.

On the shelf. At the library.

Apparently these hooligans don't read Dickens.

"Ain't No Party Like A Holy Ghost Party"

That's what the preacher said at church on Sunday.

He also said that he dared anyone to have more fun at Club Stereo down in the entertainment district.

I love accidentally going to the Gospel service on Sunday morning.

Game Stop - The Pawn Shop

We had an absolutely gorgeous sunset yesterday - unfortunately I only caught it with the cameraphone, through Ricky Bobby's dirty window, as we coasted down the hill.

Press For Service

In most Korean restaurants, your table has this nifty little call button.

No more trying to catch your waiter's eye to get a drink refill. No more waiter interrupting a hilarious story to ask if you want a drink refill.  If you need something, hit the button. Otherwise, it's like you're not even there.

It's seriously convenient. I don't understand why we don't have these at home.

Friday Nights

The nasty basement where my husband plays poker has surprisingly delicious coffee -available only in pint size.
If I ignore the garbage cans catching raindrops and the bathroom that is more disgusting than a porta-potty in your worst nightmare, it's not a half-bad place to curl up with some Salinger.

Dream Big

Now that we have dishes, I asked my husband to choose something - anything - for our first homemade dinner in the new digs.

He chose. . . 

. . .Hamburger Helper.

Just for Sara

Our new piggy bank. 

His name is Juan, and he is filled with Won.

We Have Stuff! (And A Huge Mess)

After three months of fast food, solo cups, and a mattress that feels like it was handcrafted by the Devil, WE HAVE STUFF!!

Don't be fooled by this immaculate kitchen - the rest of our house looks like a typhoon hit it.

My lovely bedside table

New clothing storage system

What the rest of the house looks like

Follow Your Nose To Magical Things

Last night when we were wandering the streets, attempting to burn off the massive amounts of Thai food we ate for dinner, we came across the most delicious cinnamon smell on earth. We followed our noses a few blocks, and were never able to locate the source of the smell, but we did locate this guy doing street corner karaoke.

It was better than cinnamon.

We will be sure. . .

As soon as I sort out my recently arrived goods and determine how many trashcans I need, this one will belong to me.

Overheard at Korea Burn

Guy: How was your night?

Girl (tearfully): The other girl didn't want to share her body with me.

Share your body, eh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Mmmmmmmmm. . .

You know I love that special bland coffee.

I Love It When I See A Store Name I Recognize!

My Favorite Merry-Go-Round

All-you-can-eat sushi carousel at dinner last night. Nomnomnom.

Awwwwwww

Last night we discovered Sweetboxes at the IMAX theater in Suwon.

Also, the "Couples Coke" is pretty brilliant.

Why don't they have these things back home?

Dear Awkward Boy At Burning Man,

Before you push through a group to hit on a girl, using the line "I'm just saying this because I know I will never see you again - you are the most beautiful girl I have seen on this beach", you should check to see if girl you are saying this to has a wedding ring on. If she does, you should assume the guy sitting next to her, also wearing a wedding ring is her husband.

Love,

Rachel

Dear Drunk Girl At Burning Man,

When I helped you get up off the ground and walked you to the first aid station, it's because I'm a nice person who saw that you were bleeding. Not because I wanted to make out with you. When I said "that's my husband right there", I meant "not interested", I did not mean "later".

Love,

Rachel

Peace, Love, and Camping

This weekend we "experienced" Korea Burn - South Korea's smaller version of Burning Man.

The Burning Man mission statement has a lot to say about "radical community", "touchstones of value", and "worlds of nature beyond society", but essentially it boils down to a giant beach party where nothing is for sale - sharing is caring! - with lots of sparklers and booze, and where picking up your own garbage is mandatory.

It was a people-watchers' paradise.

I'm going to call it a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It was fun, but I just don't see myself going back. I like money, wearing clothes,  taking showers, and not listening to random people get it on, way too much for this lifestyle.

Hint Hint

Today I accidentally joined a gym.

I thought I joined the indoor golf range, in building 106, but no. When I went to check it out, my new clicker gives me access to the GYM and denies me at the golf door.

At first I thought it was a misunderstanding, but now I'm wondering if it was a hint.

"Did you see the size of her? We should sign her up for Korean Biggest Loser. That will be a real challenge for them. Better give her a gym key - golf doesn't burn that many calories."

"Closet" Space

In the absence of hangers, I've come up with a truly revolutionary clothing storage system.

Brandon keeps his clothes here:

and I keep mine here:

This Car. . .

. . .is giving my husband bad, bad ideas for pimping out our ride. 

Please, no.

One of the great advantages of living overseas

All the people I order from on eBay are throwing in freebies and nice notes thanking me for my service.

Score!

Detox

I've decided to go through a detox.

With THESE:

I know people (and by "people", I mean "medical researchers") scoff at them, and call them mean names like "completely useless", but I'm telling myself that those namby-pamby FDA approved ones we get back home are of course no good - these ones I can get in Korea are the REAL DEAL.

I've put them on for an afternoon of steam-mopping (YES!!!), and we shall see what the results are.

Also, it is really, really difficult to take a photo of the bottom of your foot with a cell phone.

Moment Of Silence

The UN Memorial Cemetery honors the fallen soldiers of the sixteen nations who helped to defend South Korea in "The Forgotten War".

FOR LOVERS ONLY

As we checked into the last two rooms in the "ON" hotel (also pretty much the last two rooms in the city), I noticed a sign that said "best place for lovers". I snickered at it, thinking how I could blog about "lost in translation" later on.

AND THEN I SAW THE ROOM.

The photos kind of speak for themselves.

The mirrored, lighted ceiling above our bed.

Biggest tub I have ever seen. 

WITH A TELEVISION!

This attractive woman gazing at us.

Not pictured are the completely glass bathroom,  middle-of-the-room shower, and bedside table "supplies".

The mural on the wall of the two single guys with us. 

Clearly the desk clerk knew what two men checking in together want.

Tanked

The Jagalchi Fish Market is Korea's largest, and a wonder to behold. If it swims in the sea, you can buy it here. It's like going to the aquarium, if the aquarium was also an all-you-can eat seafood buffet.

After wandering through the main floor of the market, gaping at some creatures I've never seen, and witnessing a brutal yet fascinating octopus slaughtering, we headed upstairs to the "food court".

For 80,000 won (we thought it was a little steep, until we saw the vast amount of food being paraded out to our table), we bought ourselves two freshly slaughtered fish - one cooked, one raw - some delicious sides (including a pile of tasty sea snails), and finished off the meal with a steaming pot of fish head soup.

Nomnomnomnomnom.