Without Further Ado. . .

Here is my lovely guest room:

Check out that drunken sombrero who thought it would be just HILARIOUS to put the lampshade on his head. 

The prim fascinator on the shelf below has apparently fainted in horror.

The guest bedroom makeover is actually a little more complicated than it looks. Due to our teeny tiny curvy closet English staircase, our full-sized box spring isn't even CLOSE to making it upstairs - which means. . .

I WILL SAW IT IN HALF, CARRY IT UP THE STAIRS PIECE BY PIECE, AND THEN BOLT IT BACK TOGETHER.

I told my sister about my plan, and she is thoroughly terrified by the idea of me using power tools without adult supervision, but I have faith in myself.

THIS

This fat baby right here:

This adorable fat baby is why I no longer blog, work out, wash my hair, and have an endless revolving pile of dirty dishes.

News Flash: I Am Not Good At Changing Up My Template

In case you hadn't guessed, I am no good at this. So, to all my readers (that means you, Sara), I apologize.

The header is way too big, but at least the picture is pretty.

Now, excuse me while I go attempt to make dinner on my stove that is older than your parents (and possibly grandparents). 

Better luck tomorrow (fingers crossed!)

Progress, and a Few Fun Facts about our lovely new abode

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and I'm really not inspired with words right now, so...without further ado...a few pictures of our magnificent British home:

First up: THE STOVE. This is what I cook on. For real. There isn't another, slightly more modern stove lurking around the corner. This is it. It has two temperatures: hot, and hotter. Also, please note that because I am legit immersing myself in the culture, I have not one, but TWO kettles. Oh yeah. Be impressed.

Two: The Guest Room. Why, yes. That is a shower. In the bedroom. In front of a glass door to the garden. Makes perfect sense. There is also a sink, but if you want a toilet, you're going to have to go to the toilet sized closet in the hallway. I hope you aren't fat (or really pregnant, like me), because if so, you are really going to have to squeeze to get past the protruding sink that is almost-but-not-quite hanging over the toilet.

 And an update: The nursery. We have a baby wardrobe, and I am feeling slightly less like the worst expectant mother on earth. Pretty sure this closet of newborn gowns on hangers downgrades me from first place to first runner-up.

We Live Near A Castle

Not that I've actually seen one, but I'm sure we do. Or that there are some castle ruins under our crummy house - maybe that would explain our topsy-turvy flooring and walls.

We've been in England close to two months now, and it has definitely been an adjustment. After 2-3 weeks of house-hunting, we got tired of looking, and settled on a quaint little rowhouse. We've definitely had some renters remorse - on move-in day, we discovered it was half as big and twice as ugly as we had thought when we signed the papers.

We have about five weeks until the munchkin makes her debut in the world, so I'm thinking it may be time to buy a crib and pick out a name.

Here is a sneak peek of our ADORABLE nursery...

Ahahahahahah, worst expectant parents ever. Please note that we DO have a carseat to bring her home in, but as of right now, it looks like she may be sleeping in a dresser drawer. OH, WAIT - our dresser hasn't arrived yet. Cardboard box it is!

And in case you were wondering if I have been selfishly prioritizing my own comfort and putting all my time into a luxurious master bedroom oasis, here is our lovely bedroom...

Why, yes, that is a mattress sitting in the center of our living room floor. The master bedroom was painted the most lovely shade of batcave maroon/purple, which made it look approximately five times smaller than its actual very-small size. I'm pleased to announce that after five coats of primer, it might almost be time to slap on some real paint. Of course, our bed frame is still stuck in customs, and could be delayed till October. I LOVE OVERSEAS MOVES!!!

Enough whining for now, time to call my landlord again and plead with her to send someone out to turn our stove on...

Sad Times

I've finally left South Korea, and am feeling oh-so-blue about it. Our year there flew by, and I was completely unprepared to leave.

That's not to say I'm unhappy to be back in the US, visiting family, prepping for my brother's wedding this weekend, and catching up with friends. All these things are great - but there is a melancholy little part of my brain reminding me that I might NEVER BE IN SOUTH KOREA, EVER AGAIN, and that's just really too sad to think about.

My long-suffering husband stayed behind to finish up paperwork and supervise the pack. This is something he has informed me will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever happen again. The stress of prepping the house and watching the movers shove all our possessions into a wooden crate was just too much for him. I will admit that when I heard his martyred "I was up at 3AM WASHING DISHES and taking things off the walls", I'd have had a little more sympathy if I didn't have the consolation of knowing that I left him with a clean kitchen and only four things on the walls (two were posters - easy peasy).

On a side note: Jetlag + pregnancy = AWESOME. I was already getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and now I just stay awake for HOURS. It is AMAZING.

Not.

Is It Just Me?

Or does anyone else spend their evenings listening to classical music while reading "A Short History of Rudeness" aloud to their developing baby?

Also, it's NEVER too early to learn good etiquette.

Best Blogger Ever!

Our time at Osan is winding down, and I am the worst blogger ever. I went from "I'm going to post every day!" to "once a week is good enough", and now am at the "well, every five-and-a-half months is better than nothing at all" point.

Life is good. So good that I forgot all about my blog.

South Korea has been a crazy amazing adventure, and we've loved every minute. The people are friendly (And honest! Unlike in China! Which is another story for another day!), the food is delicious (with a few notable exceptions), the scenery is gorgeous, and the transportation is cheap, cheap, cheap.

Seriously, if you are going to ever visit ONE Asian country, go to Korea. Not China. Definitely not China.

If we weren't moving to another really cool place (England!), I'd be way more devastated about leaving South Korea. I'm still pretty distraught, but visions of antique bookcases and wrought iron prams are dancing in my head and softening the blow.

Tomorrow we head to Jeju Island for the long weekend, and I will attempt to update at least a couple more times before I have to change my blog name from "We Live In A Castle" to "We Live Near A Castle".

Shame On Me

For neglecting you, my precious little bloggy blog.

My husband has been a computer hog the last few weeks, and even though I am home alone all day, I will blame him for using it two hours every evening.

A Post About Trash

Today I would like to devote a post to taking out the garbage.

In Korea, you recycle everything, and I mean EVERYTHING.

After nearly two months of practicing the trash, I'm practically a pro.

The city "encourages" recycling, by only picking up trash in specially marked "City of Pyeongtaek" garbage bags, that also happen to be quite pricey. Therefore, in an attempt to save on trashbag purchases, we sort cans, hard plastic (packaging), soft plastic (bags), glass, paper/cardboard, and food waste. After that's all sorted out, we have a city garbage bag that takes 2-3 weeks to fill up - my dad would be so proud.

The food waste bins smell just as good as they look.
- fun fact: the first time I dumped my food waste, 
I also upchucked some food waste. It was just that nasty in there -

Trash/recycling pickup happens once a week, between Thursday afternoon and Friday morning. If you miss out on that, your garbage just marinates in your tiny laundry room for another full week, and smells more delicious every minute.

Also, if you murder a little girl and put her bloody uniform in your regular trash instead of the food waste, the trash inspector will find it by the smell and confront you, and your only option will be to throw him down the stairs to his death.

I saw it in a Korean movie.

Fun Fact

There are nine different wallpaper patterns in my apartment.

Check back next week for "Six Types of Flooring"!!

Bet you didn't know you were going to find this type of excitement here.