THIS

This fat baby right here:

This adorable fat baby is why I no longer blog, work out, wash my hair, and have an endless revolving pile of dirty dishes.

Introducing: Baby Girl

She is the cutest thing I have ever seen, and I've seen baby elephants play-fighting, so I am no novice when it comes to judging cuteness.

I've kept her alive and mostly healthy for nearly seven weeks, and am tremendously proud of myself.

Also, THAT LITTLE MOUTH!!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

After making a tremendous amount of progress on the nursery (I made a DIAGRAM ONLINE! With REAL MEASUREMENTS! - See!!)...

...Our household goods arrived: All of them. Including our gigantic American washer and dryer that were supposed to be left in storage (guessing they will now become hampers/hiders of contraband items when company comes over):

Glorious Stuff!

After about two solid hours of unwrapping cups - I swear we have six million of them - I came across my first broken dish:

Hallelujah! The angels rejoice that I have one less cup to fit into my teeny tiny scullery kitchen. 

(not kidding, the ad for our house actually called it a "scullery" - it makes me feel like Daisy from Downton Abbey every time I walk in)

Now baby girl's room looks like the world's smallest end-table store:

 Seriously! Why so many tables? I have no idea why we own all of these - and this ISN'T EVEN ALL OF THEM!! There are at least two lurking in corners downstairs.

***********************

On a side note, I think baby girl is playing Prison Break in my stomach right now. I swear she is trying to kick her way out through my ribcage.

#pleasestayputtilldaddygetsyourcribassembled
#onsecondthought #mommywantssushi #youcouldsleepinacardboardboxforatleastafewdays

Progress, and a Few Fun Facts about our lovely new abode

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and I'm really not inspired with words right now, so...without further ado...a few pictures of our magnificent British home:

First up: THE STOVE. This is what I cook on. For real. There isn't another, slightly more modern stove lurking around the corner. This is it. It has two temperatures: hot, and hotter. Also, please note that because I am legit immersing myself in the culture, I have not one, but TWO kettles. Oh yeah. Be impressed.

Two: The Guest Room. Why, yes. That is a shower. In the bedroom. In front of a glass door to the garden. Makes perfect sense. There is also a sink, but if you want a toilet, you're going to have to go to the toilet sized closet in the hallway. I hope you aren't fat (or really pregnant, like me), because if so, you are really going to have to squeeze to get past the protruding sink that is almost-but-not-quite hanging over the toilet.

 And an update: The nursery. We have a baby wardrobe, and I am feeling slightly less like the worst expectant mother on earth. Pretty sure this closet of newborn gowns on hangers downgrades me from first place to first runner-up.

Is It Just Me?

Or does anyone else spend their evenings listening to classical music while reading "A Short History of Rudeness" aloud to their developing baby?

Also, it's NEVER too early to learn good etiquette.