One Week Down. . .

One week of deployment down, infinity (it seems) to go.

On top of our incredible timing of moving a week before Brandon's deployment, my darling fat baby decided to cut teeth starting the day he left. Also, due to me finally dropping some baby weight over the move, I now have a visible collarbone again - a collarbone that Emily thinks is a magical toy I have grown for her teething delight. Ouch.

We've had zero nights of successful sleep since Daddy left. Just wailing battles of wills that she always wins after playing her trump card of throwing up in the cot. She knows that a person-sized spot just opened up in my bed, and of course it must be for her.

Side note - whoever said that you only need two crib sheets clearly never lived in a house without a washer or dryer. Said person obviously didn't have to drag all their laundry to a base laundromat and fight for dryer space while holding a wailing eight-month old. Said person also probably only owns two sets of sheets for their own personal bed, and has never experienced the shame of sleeping on a bare mattress while your infant sleeps next to you on a towel, after they have peed/thrown up through the entire family inventory of sheets.

Without Further Ado. . .

Here is my lovely guest room:

Check out that drunken sombrero who thought it would be just HILARIOUS to put the lampshade on his head. 

The prim fascinator on the shelf below has apparently fainted in horror.

The guest bedroom makeover is actually a little more complicated than it looks. Due to our teeny tiny curvy closet English staircase, our full-sized box spring isn't even CLOSE to making it upstairs - which means. . .

I WILL SAW IT IN HALF, CARRY IT UP THE STAIRS PIECE BY PIECE, AND THEN BOLT IT BACK TOGETHER.

I told my sister about my plan, and she is thoroughly terrified by the idea of me using power tools without adult supervision, but I have faith in myself.

Shameful Living

Hi. My name is Rachel, and I live in squalor. It has been over a week since I emptied the diaper pail, and you don't even want to know how long it has been since I washed my hair. When the cat (husband) is away, the mice will play. Or rather, the mice will eat dark chocolate and not wash the dishes.

One of the untold downsides of a deployment, is a huge decrease in compliments on housework. The first few days Brandon was gone, I was incredibly productive, until reality set in, and I remembered that no one would know whether I unpacked those boxes now. . .or in December.

In an attempt to hold myself somewhat accountable/shame myself into productivity, I will be posting photos of some of the more appalling parts of my house, and also photos of partially completed projects.

I'm definitely not bold enough to offer up photographic proof that I have indeed put on real clothes.

THIS

This fat baby right here:

This adorable fat baby is why I no longer blog, work out, wash my hair, and have an endless revolving pile of dirty dishes.

Introducing: Baby Girl

She is the cutest thing I have ever seen, and I've seen baby elephants play-fighting, so I am no novice when it comes to judging cuteness.

I've kept her alive and mostly healthy for nearly seven weeks, and am tremendously proud of myself.

Also, THAT LITTLE MOUTH!!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

After making a tremendous amount of progress on the nursery (I made a DIAGRAM ONLINE! With REAL MEASUREMENTS! - See!!)...

...Our household goods arrived: All of them. Including our gigantic American washer and dryer that were supposed to be left in storage (guessing they will now become hampers/hiders of contraband items when company comes over):

Glorious Stuff!

After about two solid hours of unwrapping cups - I swear we have six million of them - I came across my first broken dish:

Hallelujah! The angels rejoice that I have one less cup to fit into my teeny tiny scullery kitchen. 

(not kidding, the ad for our house actually called it a "scullery" - it makes me feel like Daisy from Downton Abbey every time I walk in)

Now baby girl's room looks like the world's smallest end-table store:

 Seriously! Why so many tables? I have no idea why we own all of these - and this ISN'T EVEN ALL OF THEM!! There are at least two lurking in corners downstairs.

***********************

On a side note, I think baby girl is playing Prison Break in my stomach right now. I swear she is trying to kick her way out through my ribcage.

#pleasestayputtilldaddygetsyourcribassembled
#onsecondthought #mommywantssushi #youcouldsleepinacardboardboxforatleastafewdays

News Flash: I Am Not Good At Changing Up My Template

In case you hadn't guessed, I am no good at this. So, to all my readers (that means you, Sara), I apologize.

The header is way too big, but at least the picture is pretty.

Now, excuse me while I go attempt to make dinner on my stove that is older than your parents (and possibly grandparents). 

Better luck tomorrow (fingers crossed!)

Progress, and a Few Fun Facts about our lovely new abode

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and I'm really not inspired with words right now, so...without further ado...a few pictures of our magnificent British home:

First up: THE STOVE. This is what I cook on. For real. There isn't another, slightly more modern stove lurking around the corner. This is it. It has two temperatures: hot, and hotter. Also, please note that because I am legit immersing myself in the culture, I have not one, but TWO kettles. Oh yeah. Be impressed.

Two: The Guest Room. Why, yes. That is a shower. In the bedroom. In front of a glass door to the garden. Makes perfect sense. There is also a sink, but if you want a toilet, you're going to have to go to the toilet sized closet in the hallway. I hope you aren't fat (or really pregnant, like me), because if so, you are really going to have to squeeze to get past the protruding sink that is almost-but-not-quite hanging over the toilet.

 And an update: The nursery. We have a baby wardrobe, and I am feeling slightly less like the worst expectant mother on earth. Pretty sure this closet of newborn gowns on hangers downgrades me from first place to first runner-up.

On A Less Whiny Note...

Cambridge is pretty. Like, really pretty. Even if I didn't like her, I'd still have to admit that she's pretty.

We Live Near A Castle

Not that I've actually seen one, but I'm sure we do. Or that there are some castle ruins under our crummy house - maybe that would explain our topsy-turvy flooring and walls.

We've been in England close to two months now, and it has definitely been an adjustment. After 2-3 weeks of house-hunting, we got tired of looking, and settled on a quaint little rowhouse. We've definitely had some renters remorse - on move-in day, we discovered it was half as big and twice as ugly as we had thought when we signed the papers.

We have about five weeks until the munchkin makes her debut in the world, so I'm thinking it may be time to buy a crib and pick out a name.

Here is a sneak peek of our ADORABLE nursery...

Ahahahahahah, worst expectant parents ever. Please note that we DO have a carseat to bring her home in, but as of right now, it looks like she may be sleeping in a dresser drawer. OH, WAIT - our dresser hasn't arrived yet. Cardboard box it is!

And in case you were wondering if I have been selfishly prioritizing my own comfort and putting all my time into a luxurious master bedroom oasis, here is our lovely bedroom...

Why, yes, that is a mattress sitting in the center of our living room floor. The master bedroom was painted the most lovely shade of batcave maroon/purple, which made it look approximately five times smaller than its actual very-small size. I'm pleased to announce that after five coats of primer, it might almost be time to slap on some real paint. Of course, our bed frame is still stuck in customs, and could be delayed till October. I LOVE OVERSEAS MOVES!!!

Enough whining for now, time to call my landlord again and plead with her to send someone out to turn our stove on...

Sad Times

I've finally left South Korea, and am feeling oh-so-blue about it. Our year there flew by, and I was completely unprepared to leave.

That's not to say I'm unhappy to be back in the US, visiting family, prepping for my brother's wedding this weekend, and catching up with friends. All these things are great - but there is a melancholy little part of my brain reminding me that I might NEVER BE IN SOUTH KOREA, EVER AGAIN, and that's just really too sad to think about.

My long-suffering husband stayed behind to finish up paperwork and supervise the pack. This is something he has informed me will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever happen again. The stress of prepping the house and watching the movers shove all our possessions into a wooden crate was just too much for him. I will admit that when I heard his martyred "I was up at 3AM WASHING DISHES and taking things off the walls", I'd have had a little more sympathy if I didn't have the consolation of knowing that I left him with a clean kitchen and only four things on the walls (two were posters - easy peasy).

On a side note: Jetlag + pregnancy = AWESOME. I was already getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and now I just stay awake for HOURS. It is AMAZING.

Not.

Is It Just Me?

Or does anyone else spend their evenings listening to classical music while reading "A Short History of Rudeness" aloud to their developing baby?

Also, it's NEVER too early to learn good etiquette.

How To Use A Toilet

Jeju

I can't recommend it highly enough. It's pretty rightly called "the Hawaii of Korea" - at least I assume it's pretty rightly called that - I can't exactly confirm the sentiment, having never actually been to the Hawaii of the United States (that's Hawaii, in case you were wondering).

After a glorious long weekend of hiking in a sundress and flipflops because I'm stupid (also, my feet were a little too swollen to stuff into my sneakers after the flight), getting a pretty magnificent sunburn, and just generally checking out one of the New Seven Natural Wonders of the World, it's good to be home.

Side note - the next time I'm on an airplane, it will be to the US - weird.

What I Missed: The Great Photo Recap

We took the most crowded subway ride ever.

We saw fireworks. They were awesome.

There was a lantern festival.

It snowed.

A lot.

Christmas came.

We went skiing. I spent more time laying down than I did standing up.

We saw North Korea.

North Korea saw us.

Brandon practiced his archery.

We went to the Cherry Blossom Festival. It rained.

We hiked. A lot.

We went to China. It was dirty. 

And that's what you've missed!

Stay tuned for another one of these...next year?

What I Missed: Visitors

We had three! Yay, people like us.

First there was Hannah:

Then Sara:

And our last visitor - Dani:

Best Blogger Ever!

Our time at Osan is winding down, and I am the worst blogger ever. I went from "I'm going to post every day!" to "once a week is good enough", and now am at the "well, every five-and-a-half months is better than nothing at all" point.

Life is good. So good that I forgot all about my blog.

South Korea has been a crazy amazing adventure, and we've loved every minute. The people are friendly (And honest! Unlike in China! Which is another story for another day!), the food is delicious (with a few notable exceptions), the scenery is gorgeous, and the transportation is cheap, cheap, cheap.

Seriously, if you are going to ever visit ONE Asian country, go to Korea. Not China. Definitely not China.

If we weren't moving to another really cool place (England!), I'd be way more devastated about leaving South Korea. I'm still pretty distraught, but visions of antique bookcases and wrought iron prams are dancing in my head and softening the blow.

Tomorrow we head to Jeju Island for the long weekend, and I will attempt to update at least a couple more times before I have to change my blog name from "We Live In A Castle" to "We Live Near A Castle".

Feast Your Eyes On Trickery

I heart the Trickeye Museum.

Trashed

This looks like quite the party spot.

Things That Make Me Happy

Anne of Green Gables with Korean subtitles.