Laundry Day

I have always, always, always wanted a Front-Loading Washer-Dryer Combo. From the first time I saw one in "A Pocket for Corduroy", I knew I would have one some day.

Ah, the foolishness of youth.

My Front-Loading Washer-Dryer Combo is the appliance version of a sloth. Five hours to wash and dry a load of underwear? Seriously, Front-Loading Washer-Dryer Combo? This is the best you can do? You're so high tech, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A LINT TRAP! YOU MAGICALLY EAT YOUR OWN LINT, AND YOU STILL TAKE FIVE HOURS TO WASH SOCKS?

Hey LG, maybe you should spend less time inventing a refrigerator that suggests recipes based on the foods it was creepily scoping out in your fridge, and more time inventing a Front-Loading Washer-Dryer Combo that takes less than a DAY to do one load of wash.

I Love It. . .

. . .when all my dishes are clean.

Dear Google,

When I ask you to search for "boot tights", what I mean is "bootights".

I do not mean tight boots or slipper socks, and I most definitely do NOT mean tight booties. Those are scary. Please put them away.

Rachel

Fun Fact: I Am Addicted to eBay

Yesterday I spent not one, not two, not five, but NINE hours looking at formal gowns on eBay.

According to my husband, nothing I own is appropriate for a military ball.

(This is his way of saying "I want you to have a new dress, my darling.")

“Do you really think some stupid typhoon is going to keep me cowering in my apartment, eating PB&J sandwiches while I constantly refresh the weather report? Yes, yes it is."

- American Girl who lives in Lotte Castle

“Do you really think some stupid typhoon is going to keep us from getting our workout on?”

- Ladies who work out on the equipment at Lotte Castle

“Do you really think some stupid typhoon is going to keep us from enjoying a day out of school?”

- Kids who live in Lotte Castle

Waiting For Bolaven

Seriously, would you just get here and try to blow us away already? I'm hungry, and not in the mood for another turkey sandwich.

Fun Fact: We Have the Worst Couch IN THE WORLD

Think you can't get sore from sitting on the couch all day? I'm here to tell you that it is entirely possible. To be honest, I think the amount of fidgeting I do while seated on this couch could almost be classified as a workout.

Do not be fooled by the luxurious-looking faux leather and inviting pillow-height arms. This couch is of the Devil, and will make your rump long for a soft concrete floor to sit on.

Typhooning

Typhoon Bolaven is sprinting towards us, and I am pretending to be prepared.
Six bottles of water, a candy bar, some grilled rib patty flavored chips, and an ice cream bar*?

Yep, should be good to go.


*Not pictured, because it is already in my stomach.

Koreans Are Nice (Also, I Am Sweaty)

Today I decided to take advantage of the balmy 93 degree weather, and ride my bike over to our realtor's office, about two? three? four? (I'm terrible at estimating distance) miles away to pay our rent.

Side Note - the biggest bill here is the 50,000 won bill (worth about $45?), so carrying the rent + deposit money in a big fat envelope kind of makes me feel like a big shot - also, scary.

On the way back, I came across an adorable little coffee shop, and decided to drag my sweaty self in to get an iced coffee.

The lady behind the counter took one look at me, and stage-whispered something to a table of women playing cards. In a half a second, they were all on their feet - one led me to a seat, the second brought me ice-water, while the third dragged over a giant fan to blow on me.

Ah, such service.

Also, embarrassing.

Do Koreans not sweat, or did I just look/smell THAT BAD?

Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover (Or A Store By Its Name)

Lingerie Store

"Abercrombie" and "North Face"

Scary Animal Masks?

Can I interest you in some delicious Remon Ade?

Fun fact: the Korean alphabet doesn't exactly have a letter that is the equivalent of our “R” or “L”. It does however have the character “ㄹ” which kind of sounds like a rolled R.

Also, the cupcakes here are delicious.

Woop-De-Doo

I just got an email from Amazon telling me that my new steam mop has shipped, and let me tell you, I am ridiculously pumped.

Having a vast expanse of hardwood flooring and a thousand glass doors open all day long isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

My floors are FILTHY. Not just "I wouldn't eat off of them" filthy, but "I wouldn't let a dog that I didn't like and was about to eat, eat off of them" filthy. Embarrassingly filthy.

I would take a picture and show you the piles of dust and dirt that accumulate under every ledge, but I'm ashamed, and no one would ever want to come visit me. BECAUSE I LIVE IN SQUALOR.

Please, Steam Mop - get here soon. I need you.

What I've Been Watching

If you were wondering what the Cupid Shuffle of South Korea is, it's this.

I might be just a little obsessed with K-Pop.

Shutter Speeds

I just downloaded the manual for our new/old camera (thanks Brandon's mom!) and figured out how to slow down the shutter speed.

This would have come in handy in Seoul last week.

And yeah, Facebook Friends - you're going to see a lot of duplicates.

Baobobs & Collagen

On Tuesday, I made my first South Korean Beauty Product Purchase - BB Cream. Apparently it is magical, gives you a dewy complexion, and completely erases all your blemishes.

It also whitens your skin. Not in a permanent Michael Jackson way, but in a "I thought this was just moisturizer and it looks like I covered my face in a foundation that is eight-and-a-half shades too light" way.  I'm sure it will do wonders for my skin in the winter.

The fun part is that it came with some mystery beauty freebies that are almost completely in Hangul (the name for the written language). One of them was this awesome looking packet that tells me it is "Moistfull", and contains the active ingredients "baobob tree extract and collagen".

In case you were wondering what a baobob tree is, I conveniently have a picture of me hanging out with one on my last overseas adventure.

Can't wait to rub this stuff on my face.

Fun Fact: Koreans love them some plastic surgery

According to the Economist, one in five South Korean women have had some type of plastic surgery.

According to the internet (which is an EXTREMELY reliable source), the standard of beauty is quite high here, and one small feature (or lack thereof) can be the equivalent of being beaten with an ugly stick.

Having only lived here about two weeks, I can't speak from any type of experiences, but I can tell you that there are plastic surgery fliers plastered on telephone poles and subway walls like they are advertisements for a concert, and EVERY SINGLE popup ad I get here, is for cheap plastic surgery.

I came across a blog while googling "why do Koreans love plastic surgery", and I think the writer (who is far more immersed in the culture than I am) brilliantly summed up what I've observed so far. Check it out here.

P.S. I also hear that the surgical masks you see on the street here aren't for warding off infections, but for covering a freshly-surgeryed nose.

Thank heaven for translations

So I don't have to make the same mistake twice.

The Pros and Cons of the Stairs In My Building

Pros:

Can be faster than taking the elevators if you see that both of them are at 24

Great exercise

Cons:

The stairwell lights are all motion activated, and the motion activators are SLOW (so you are mostly running in the dark)

Sometimes you will round the corner to find a random Korean man sitting in the dark, and smoking a cigarette, and you will almost pee your pants

P.S. I took the stairs to 24 and back today! Aren't you all proud of me?

So ready. . .

. . .For my household goods to get here, so I can stop eating cereal out of a cup, with a fork.

In Case Of Fire. . .

. . .here is what we do:

1. Put on this sweet little underarm belt-thingamajigger.

2. Hook it to this swiveling arm.

3. Jump.

What I'm trying to say, is "if there is a fire here, I will most likely die."

Crappy Picture Alert

I took my first trip to Seoul on Saturday, and did a terrible job taking photos. Not that I didn't take enough - it's just that I suck at using my fancypants new camera, and all the pictures were blurry. Maybe next time.

Looks like we're going to have to stick with the cell phone snaps for now.

North Seoul Tower. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to make it up the tower, but it was still a great view from the base.

 Here we are in a very dimly lit restaurant at the base of the tower.

 Seoul.

Love Locks

They say if you put a padlock on the fence at North Seoul Tower, your love will be locked to you forever.

If you're cheesy and you know it clap your hands! (clap clap)

One of the great disadvantages of being home-schooled

I am TERRIBLE at unlocking the spinning combination code lock on our mailbox. It took me thirty minutes, an online tutorial, and two pitiful texts to my husband to get the stupid thing open.
I can grind grain to make a loaf of bread from scratch, sing the second verse of the National Anthem, and organize books by the Dewey Decimal System, but a locker combination completely defeated me this afternoon.

Fun Fact

There are nine different wallpaper patterns in my apartment.

Check back next week for "Six Types of Flooring"!!

Bet you didn't know you were going to find this type of excitement here.

Bread Story

I was about to post about how this odd bread from a shop right outside our building is surprisingly delicious, despite its peculiar  combination of cheese, herbs, and honey mustard.

And then I took another bite, and bit right into SURPRISE!

It's a. . .hot dog??

Seriously guys, I wanted to be on board with this, but that hot dog just crossed a line.

Brandon Eating

I've decided I might need to add a "Brandon Eating" category to my tags. 

I have no idea what we are eating here, but it is even more spicy than it is delicious. 

(Please note that we are sitting on the floor (also, barefoot).)

Mr. Pizza

This place serves the best crab/shrimp/chicken
/potato/bacon/sprout pizza with a pumpkin and sweet potato-stuffed crust EVER.

Lost In Translation

Our realtor helpfully provided this translation of washing machine terms.

Anyone know what the “Baby Love" cycle does?

Thank heaven for translators

Without them, I'd have no idea how to warm my toilet seat.

My Husband Is The Best

Happy early birthday to me!!

I'm super pumped to ride this thing down the mean streets of Songtan - it makes me feel like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

Wait, did Dorothy have a bike, or just the Wicked Witch?

Introducing The Ricky Bobby.

This is Ricky Bobby.

Ricky Bobby wants to go fast, but struggles a little on occasion.

I'm pretty sure that even I will be able to parallel park this little munchkin of a car.

Our Luxurious Korean Mattress

I honestly believe I could jump on this thing while a glass of wine sat undisturbed on the other side.

It is just that hard.

Get excited guests, because this one is going in your room.

Such a lucky, lucky, girl

In Korea, asking someone's age is not only considered polite, I think it's actually a sign that you like/take an interest in them.

Unfortunately, in Korea you give your age as the year of your life that you are "in".

For example, my precious three-week-old nephew is starting his first year, which makes him one right now, and next July he will be two...which makes me dun-dun-dun twenty-nine right now, and THIRTY next month.

And then of course, I get to go back to the US and turn thirty AGAIN next year!
Can you believe this luck? I get to turn thirty, not once, but twice. What girl doesn't want that?

Kimchi

Yesterday, we ate kimchi...

AND LIKED IT! SUCCESS!!

Such a happy, happy toilet

Unfortunately, this one is not at my house.

The Castle

I live in a castle. Lotte Castle, to be exact.

From what I can tell, Lotte seems to be the South Korean version of Proctor & Gamble, but a P&G that in addition to making every type of cracker, mouthwash, and laundry detergent also owned everything from theme parks, outlet malls, to baseball teams, to. . .well, castles.

Actually, I'm just going to let Wikipedia take this one:

"Lotte Group consists of over 60 business units employing 60,000 people engaged in such diverse industries as candy manufacturing, beverages, hotels, fast food, retail, financial services, heavy chemicals, electronics, IT, construction, publishing, and entertainment. Lotte's major operations are overseen by Shin Kyuk-Ho's family in South Korea and Japan, with additional businesses in China, Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam, India, USA, Russia, Philippines,Pakistan and Poland (Lotte bought Poland's largest candy company Wedel from Kraft Foods in June 2010). Today, Lotte is the largest candy / chewing gum manufacturer in South Korea."

The Journey

After the worst flight ever, I live in Korea.

When I say "worst flight ever", I mean WORST. FLIGHT.EVER.

It had everything. Middle seats. Drunken seatmates. Armrest hogs. Scrambled eggs. Bananas. Turbulence. Movies without sound. Having to hold it for an hour because your seatmate is passed out, and you can't get around him.

I am so happy to be in Korea.